Heartsick, party of ME?

SPOILER ALERT:  Don't read unless you've reached 26% on your reading device...OR until Tatiana has taken up cooking for the fam. 

I was in BED and totally not sleeping and decided to GET UP and blog because I am SEETHING and had to get it out.  Alexander keeps coming over - eating dinner - and then SCHTUPPING Dasha in Tatiana's bed??  Do I have that right??  My heart is saying "Oh noooo...he's probably just putting off Dasha and telling stories about Germany...and Dasha is trying her best to get him into bed".  But my brain is saying "Carol, are you a damned fool?  Boyfriend is in there, closing his eyes and pretending Dasha is Tatiana while he does the deed!"

I am SICK with heartache for poor Tatiana, having to endure this.  And if she gives it up to Dima, there truly is no god in Leningrad.  I mean really.  My fear is that she's going to - out of spite - and then she'll find out Shura has been playing checkers with Dasha all this time.  But again - that is ridiculous and I am not so naive that I'm going to think that is what is going on.

How can he do this to Tatiana?  Does he have not one shred of integrity?  Why would he do this?  And after all they've been through?  After he saved her?!  I am completely grossed out.  Up until this point, I have been loving this book....and my god, the HOSPITAL SCENE???  You had to scrape me up off the floor after THAT one.  Only to keep reading and get to this horrible existence for Tatiana where she's completely stuck in this horrible situation that HE HAS PUT HER INTO.

At this point, I agree with Tatiana.  "Just leave, Alexander...and take your Dima with you."


  1. Ohhhhhhhhhh, I remember thinking and feeeeeeeling exactly the same way. I was so confused and couldn't understand what exactly WAS going on. So, I kept reading...........Just keep reading. All will be revealed.

    I agree, that hospital scene is raunchy! Too bad they didn't have locks........ha.

  2. Oh this part is just sickening. Tania, standing on her broken leg, puking in the sink, while they're alone in the room, and blaming herself for what has happened. Poor, poor Tania. I wanted to cry for her. I know that I blame Alexander too but I don't know if it's completely his fault. {ducking} I think the situation with her family has been terrible for both of them. Neither of them want this. I have WAY more to say but I'll wait until you get a little further.

    I was bracing myself for when you got to this part, cause it's not pretty.

    Just keep reading though. :) I know you're going to continue to love it.

    I wish you'd blogged after the hospital scene but I knew this part was coming up soon afterwards and the excitement would diminish. Tania was just so priceless at the hospital. I think Paullina writes about Tatiana's innocence so perfectly.

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  4. I feel your pain Carol, the hospital scene, then followed up by the Dasha and Alexander business, it's gut-wrenching. Keep reading and keep the faith!

  5. I feel like I blacked this part out post-traumatic stress-style - was he really shtupping?
    I remember the hospital scene fondly :-) though...

  6. shtupping...LOL! That's a new one for me. This blog is very educational.

    Carol, are you still reading or did you throw out your book? Don't give up. Trust us.

  7. Can't even tell you how much sleep I lost when I frist read this book. I remember my husband coming out to the living room at 2:30 am and giving me grief that i was still up and reading.

    I think one of the most heart wrenching scenes was after he rescued her and carried her all those miles (sorry, can't do metric) and then they sat on the bench at the depot waiting for the tram to take her to the hospital. They sat there and let how many trams go by, just knowing that it would lead them back to their former lives with Dasha & Dima, and gone would be their intimacy.
    All this followed up with those evening visits and Dasha just itching for some time alone with Alexander..made my blood boil and had me wishing for and incendiary to fall on Dasha on her way home from work.

    I know it's been said before, please keep reading as their are some new dimensions coming to this story.

  8. I didn't know who I was more mad at at this point. Dasha for her ignorance, Alexander for his "betrayal" or Tatiana for not allowing herself a voice. And don't get me started on the the parents!

  9. Carol, please keep in mind, that every situation Alexander and Tatiana are in, was due in a very large part to Tatiana's insistence that they keep up the ruse. In my opinion, it's not all Alexander's fault, at all.

  10. Sirena, you've described it perfectly! I also remember the hospital scene fondly, but can't remember the whole thing with Dasha and Alexander immediately after. I must have blocked it out due to the trauma.