Spoiler Alert: Don't read unless you have finished The Bronze Horseman and have read the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon.
"Dark angels follow me over a godless sea...mountains of endless falling for all my days remaining..." ~Sting
I am speechless. I have been hiding from my family in the bathroom and sobbing uncontrollably for the last 10 minutes. What a book. What an ending. I am spent. I am emotionally exhausted. I am thinking back to someone over at MOP saying The Bronze Horseman was boring (I had my own doubts in the first 20 pages) and am thinking "Oh you need to pick this book up aGAIN because there is NO way you could have read the whole thing and thought it was boring!"
I have so much in my brain right now...and I don't know how to make it spill out. I sometimes think profound thoughts while I'm falling asleep or crying in the bathroom or throwing cookies in the oven...(cookies I plan to devour in my sadness in about 5 minutes). But try to get them out on the computer and I'm SOL.
I will say this: I almost think we need to see Tatiana alone in the US...just for a little while. I want to watch her experiencing the United States...and FREEDOM...without Alexander telling her not to look at men or waxing on about his latest medal of honor (oh I know, I'm not being fair...I do love him...I'll get to that in a minute). I need to see Tania by herself for a little while. She is so wide-eyed about everything. Her reactions are going to be fantastic. My god - her reaction to a turkey sandwich was epic! Wait until she sees the Statue of Liberty or goes to a big grocery store or sees a baseball stadium. She's going to lose her mind! And she's going to love it. And she's going to hate herself for loving it because her Shura isn't there. And she's got baby Alex there to ease her suffering.
My god - it's killing me...all this suffering. Paullina Simons is so amazing. The way she launches into these reveries about Alex and Tatia and the things they did together...she takes the reader with her through the ups and downs. You feel like you are inside their brains, experiencing all of this with them. And here I was complaining about it not being in the first person!
Now - on to Alexander. On to Shura. My god - what a sacrifice. I am so proud of him. And now I'm crying again. I am so sad for him...I am so worried about him. He must be in agony. This is Jamie and Claire all over again...but worse. I have never been on board with Tracey's opinion that Claire had it worse than Jamie during their 20 years apart. I think that Alex - like Jamie - has a miserable existence...rotting away in jail and thinking he'll never see the love of his life - or his baby...his SON - again. And what a decent soul he has...he is. I just can't even comprehend how he is going to get through this. As he said, he was at his wit's end before he met Tatia; what will he do now?!?
Part of me thinks I should give it until tomorrow to start the next book. And part of me can't STAND the thought of not knowing.
And part of me is scared the not knowing is going to go on and on and I'm heading into a sea of darkness where Alexander is concerned.
And part of me is a little worried about Dr. Edward Ludlow.
But the biggest part of me can't WAIT for Tania to put 2 and 2 together: